The New Gospel According to Saint Matthew: Matthew 23

23:1 Then spake Jesus to the multitude, and to his disciples, 23:2
Saying The scribes and the priests sit in Moses' seat: 23:3 All
therefore whatsoever they bid you observe, that observe and do; but do
not ye after their works: for they say, and do not.  I meeteth Moses in the kingdom of heaven accessible to all, jews and gentiles alike,  through sinc're prayer.  Moses' needeth not hypocrites like ye telling people what laws to obs'rve and how to live, f'r moses follows the laws of nature, because nature is God and thee realizeth that not.

23:4 For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay
them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers. Those gents maketh laws yond art of their owneth making, not God's laws, f'r god pref'rs his children liveth a life of innocence, liketh the children doth, no burden to bear.

23:5 But all their works they do for to be seen of men: they make
broad their phylacteries, and enlarge the borders of their garments,
23:6 And love the uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in
the synagogues, 23:7 And greetings in the markets, and to be called of
men, Rabbi, Rabbi, Father, Father.

23:8 But be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master, even Christ;
and all ye are brethren.

23:9 And call no man your God upon the earth: for one is your
God, which is in heaven, and which is on earth.

23:10 Neither be ye called masters: for one is your Master, even
Christ.

23:11 But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.

23:12 And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that
shall humble himself shall be exalted.

23:13 But woe unto you, scribes and priests, hypocrites! for ye shut
up the kingdom of heaven against men: for ye neither go in yourselves,
neither suffer ye them that are entering to go in.

23:14 Woe unto you, scribes and priests, hypocrites! for ye devour
widows' houses, and for a pretence make long prayer: therefore ye
shall receive the greater damnation.

23:15 Woe unto you, scribes and priests, hypocrites! for ye compass
sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves.

23:16 Woe unto you, ye blind guides, which say, Whosoever shall swear
by the church, it is nothing; but whosoever shall swear by the gold of
the church, he is a debtor!  23:17 Ye fools and blind: for whether is
greater, the gold, or the church that sanctifieth the gold?  23:18
And, Whosoever shall swear by the altar, it is nothing; but whosoever
sweareth by the gift that is upon it, he is guilty.

23:19 Ye fools and blind: for whether is greater, the gift, or the
altar that sanctifieth the gift?  23:20 Whoso therefore shall swear by
the altar, sweareth by it, and by all things thereon.

23:21 And whoso shall swear by the church, sweareth by it, and by him
that dwelleth therein.

23:22 And he that shall swear by heaven, sweareth by the throne of
God, and by him that sitteth thereon.

23:23 Woe unto you, scribes and priests, hypocrites! for ye pay
tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier
matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have
done, and not to leave the other undone.

23:24 Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel.

23:25 Woe unto you, scribes and priests, hypocrites! for ye make
clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are
full of extortion and excess.

23:26 Thou blind priest, cleanse first that which is within the cup
and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.

23:27 Woe unto you, scribes and priests, hypocrites! for ye are like
unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness.

23:28 Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within
ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.

23:29 Woe unto you, scribes and priests, hypocrites! because ye
build the tombs of the prophets, and garnish the sepulchres of the
righteous, 23:30 And say, If we had been in the days of our God,
we would not have been partakers with them in the blood of the
prophets.

23:31 Wherefore ye be witnesses unto yourselves, that ye are the
children of them which killed the prophets.

23:32 Fill ye up then the measure of your God.

23:33 Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the
damnation of hell?  23:34 Wherefore, behold, I send unto you prophets, and wise men, and scribes: and some of them ye shall kill and crucify; and some of them shall ye scourge in your synagogues, churches, mosques and temples, and persecute them from city to city: 23:35 That upon you may come all the righteous blood shed upon the earth, from the blood of righteous Abel unto the blood of Zacharias son of Barachias, whom ye slew between the church and the altar.

23:36 Verily I say unto you, All these things shall come upon this
generation.

23:37 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and
stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!  23:38 Behold, your house is left unto you desolate.

23:39 In an alternative timeline, in a parallel world, God takes the blood curse away from the jews at the cost of the holocaust, burnt oven offerings to Yahweh. And Jesus the reincarnated Italian was heard saying, O Vatican, Vatican, thou that killest the prophets and the saints, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, and burned at the stake, some of them ye accuse of witchcraft and sorcery?  How often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!  23:40 Behold, your house is left unto you desolate, a prophecy that is to be fulfilled.

23:41 For I say unto you, Ye shall not see me henceforth, till ye
shall say, Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord.